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Liar Sucks At... EarthBound Zero (Prologue) - by LiarXAgerate

Liar Sucks At... EarthBound Zero (Prologue)

PROLOGUE

I've been putting it off since... early 1999, I think. About when I realized there was an EarthBound Zero, pretty much. Sure, I'd fought the lamp once or twice in NESticle way back then... I even CHECK'd the creepy dog's collar. But I always figured I'd wait until I could play it on the Game Boy Colo--er, Game Boy Advance--er, Revo--

But I've been broken down. Boring college nights--it happens--have left me with swaths of time in which I haven't got a lot to do. The result: I've read too many books and installed NEStopia on my Power Mac. And what better thing to do, when playing a game I've managed to not spoil for myself for seven years, than to spoil it for everybody else?

So: if you've yet to play EarthBound Zero, realize that I'm going to occasionally let fly with an accidental spoiler. If you, like so many females, can't resist anything I put my stamp on... well, play fast. I'm a slow RPG-er, and a slower updater, so you'll beat me to it. If you have played EB Zero, if you're the type who loves it like most of us love EarthBound... well, you'll have a lot of chances to insult me for my stupidity.

Most of my experience with EB Zero up to this point is with its soundtrack. Way back in EB.Net times, when EBounding's website had low-quality RealAudio files of the Mother Original Soundtrack (and when EBounding was convinced that All That I Needed (Was You) was in Japanese), I fell in love with the 80s-lite-pop stylings of Catherine Warwick, Jeb Million and the rest. I was one of the few souls at the time brave and foolish to order it. Until I realized how extremely cheesy it was, it was my favorite album, and even now it's got a special place in my iTunes collection. So, I'm not quite sure when any of these songs come in, but between their off-kilter hooks and the low-budget live action shot on the back of the jewel case I've got a great mental image built up.

The prologue's over; Ninten, Ana, Loid and Jack--these were the names we knew them by at the time, Jack simply being the choice of one of the people who played it early on--ready to save the world from... well, I'm not quite sure. The ROM doesn't come with a player's guide.

So wish me luck; follow me on the comments; and, whatever you do, please be gentle! It's not my fault that I've never been keen on leveling up.


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